In a church I pastored years ago I was humbled and taught by a pre-kindergarten child. Angela sat with her mother Linda in our sanctuary before our worship service began. She turned and said to her mother, “Mommy, we need to go home. We can’t have church.” Linda asked her troubled child why we couldn’t have church. Angela’s response was, “Because God is not here.”
Linda tried to explain that God was everywhere although God could not be seen. But nothing Linda said satisfied her daughter. She still adamantly and desperately maintained that God was not there. Those sitting around Angela tried to reassure the little girl with their statements about God being a Spirit and though invisible was still present. But no logic or theologizing would do. As Angela became more insistent that they leave, Linda decided the best course of action was to take her daughter home. Just at that moment the processional began, and Angela’s anxiety and concern melted into a wide smile as she said, “It’s okay now, Mommy. We can stay. Look! God’s here.” And as she made that statement she pointed to ME as I processed into the church with the choir following. I knew something had happened which amused part of the congregation but was not told of Angela’s dilemma until after the service. Everyone got a kick over the incident which has now become a part of the lore of that beautiful church.
What I learned from Angela’s statement was what I had already been told in seminary and what I had read in my psychology classes. But somehow this incident made the message crystal clear. Children are very concrete in their understanding of God and everything else for that matter. Abstract thinking is not possible for them until their adolescent years. And so the best way for children to learn is through teaching that strives to be as concrete and direct as possible. Children learn best by observing directly, participating in the learning experience with their bodies as well as their minds, and by the modeling what they witness. Like Liza in “My Fair Lady,” they want and need for us to “show” them.
The humbling part of all this is that for little children the significant ones around them shape their images and expectations of God. For many children, their parents are so closely connected to their concept of God that for all practical purposes those parents are God to their sons and daughters. That is one reason some women have trouble calling God “Father.” Women (and for that matter, some men) who have had abusive fathers cannot approach God with the image of Father in their prayers. That image with so many negative connotations and experiences connected to it interferes with their relationship with God.
Whether we are parents, grandparents, or potential models for children in the church, in our neighborhoods, or in the classroom, one humbling truth should guide us as we nurture these little ones. Because they are so concrete in their understanding of life, we must be very intentional in what we model for them. Children are often keen observers but poor interpreters of life. The best way to make sure they interpret correctly is to practice what we preach, model consistently, say we are sorry when we have erred, and communicate to them as concretely and faithfully as we know how the unconditional love of God
For better or worse we are to a certain extent “God” to our little children. We help shape the images they will have of their Maker until their dying day. May we do our part to see that those images are healing, loving, joyful, affirming, and caring, for the stakes are too high to do and to be otherwise.
